The Transition from Childhood to Adulthood from a Teen’s Perspective

I am about to graduate high school, which has got me thinking a lot about the future and about myself. I didn't realize how woefully underprepared I was until this past month. I think every kid has the innate desire to grow up and be responsible for themselves and make their own choices, but I also think deep down none of us really see ourselves as adults. We might act like we're all grown up, sure, but the concept of being completely self-reliant is foreign to most of us, so it's hard to comprehend what that's really like. That being said, I don't think the hardest part is learning how to take on responsibility, as most people might assume. I think the scariest part is when you're faced with that all-important question: who do I want to be, and what do I want to do with my life?

It's easy to say that we have plenty of time to figure that out, and while that is true, I do believe that the choices you make at the start of your career are crucial. They determine the direction you will be traveling in, so to speak. Of course, you can always change your mind, but at what cost? Not everyone can afford to abandon all their progress and start fresh. Eventually, you have to put down your roots somewhere and stick with it, because if you pull them up too soon, you won't grow at all. Real success takes time.

Standing here at the beginning of this path is quite daunting, to say the least. There are so many paths to take, and until you start to follow one, you won't truly know what's ahead. And that kind of uncertainty can be really scary. But you have to make a choice, or you won't go anywhere at all.

For a while, I thought I knew where I wanted to go. I love music, and I've written a few pieces myself. The first one I completed was (and still is) my greatest masterpiece. I was so proud of it. Everyone was so proud of it. I decided that composing was my true passion and that when I graduated, I would work on my music full time. I bought a guitar and some notation software, I took music theory lessons, and I started working on more songs. But over time, I lost my motivation. I became frustrated with the limitations of the tools I had. No matter what I did, I could never fully translate a song that was in my head to notes on a screen or find the right notes on an instrument. I realized that I did not have the dexterity to play guitar, and music theory just went way over my head. But I kept trying because I had already invested so much time and money into this path. Not only that, but I couldn't bear to disappoint my friends and family. Everyone thought I was an accomplished musician when in reality, I wasn't. One day, I finally saw that it wasn't worth fighting to be something I'm not. I'm not cut out to be a composer. And that's okay! Nobody should have to hold themselves to standards they can't possibly achieve.

Even though this was a good change for me, it still left me with a feeling of panic. Because now what? I spent so much time preparing for one path, that I closed myself off to the others. Now I'm at the fork in the road, and I don't know which way to go. And no matter what I do, it's a big risk. What if I'm wrong again? Granted, I got here much earlier than most people do, since I'm graduating 2 years early. But I think this is a feeling that most teenagers experience. Our entire lives have been leading up to this point, the moment where we finally start a new chapter of our lives as adults. No matter how much you prepare yourself, it's still going to be scary.

That being said, I also think we prepare ourselves a little too much. We spend so much time planning for the future that we don't get to enjoy the moment. We grow up too fast. I remember in 5th and 6th grade, my teachers always gave us extra challenges because "things will be much harder once you get to middle school." And in middle school, teachers told us they were challenging us to prepare us for high school. And then in high school, it was the same thing, but we were preparing for college. While it is important to be challenged in order to grow, I don't think that's the right way to do it. Our studies get harder as we get smarter and stronger. But a 5th grader shouldn't be doing a 7th grader's work. A 5th grader should complete 5th-grade challenges. So much pressure is put on us from a young age, and all it does is stress us out. People learn from experience, not by being told what we are going to experience. When we get to 7th grade, we will learn how to complete 7th-grade challenges. In the meantime, we should be able to appreciate the carefree life of an 11-year-old while it lasts.

I'm not saying that everything should be easy. I just think it should be fair. I think challenges should be proportionate to what we can handle at any particular moment. I remember in middle school, I would come home every day with hours of homework. Every year there were hundreds, maybe even thousands, of worksheets, reading assignments, and essays. And for what? Because "this is what it will be like later"? Because "life isn't fair, and you have to learn to deal with that"? Life isn't fair. But you don't have to make it worse. A lot of work is a lot of work, whether I've dealt with it before or not. I shouldn't have to practice being stressed. If you can remove that stress now, why wouldn't you? And I can't help but think that without that stress, without the pressure to constantly push myself ahead, maybe I would have had the freedom to explore who I really am, and what I really want to do.

Maybe you don't agree with me. Maybe you think I'm being melodramatic. And that's fine, that's your opinion. But whether or not it's true, it's important to understand that this is what a lot of us feel like. When kids complain about their workload, it's not because they're being lazy, it's because they're overwhelmed and they don't know how to handle it. They'll learn over time how to better cope, but it's not something you can force. Yes, adult work is harder, and sometimes complaints about what sounds like very little in comparison seem foolish. But it's a matter of proportion. To a child, keeping up with homework is a very real struggle.

In my opinion, childhood should not be about responsibility. Not primarily, anyway. It should be about exploring the world and seeing what you're good at and what you enjoy. It should be fun. Go ahead, do chores, study hard, and maybe even get a summer job. But your responsibilities shouldn't consume you. Not as a child OR as an adult. It's important to give yourself the opportunity to go on a few adventures and explore all the different paths the world has to offer. In that respect, I am very lucky to have graduated so early. Now, I have a few years to explore my interests and talents without the pressure of needing a reliable income. And I look forward to starting that journey.

I suppose what I want you, the reader, to take from this, is that whether or not you are at the beginning of your journey, or at the end, or somewhere in between, it is important to allow yourself to grow, to discover who you really are, and to find out what you are truly capable of doing with your life. Don't ever stop asking yourself those questions. Don't let anything arbitrarily difficult stop you from achieving self-actualization.